What would it feel like to start living my life without any analysis of my desires?
Stop and think about that. What would life feel like if I had zero debate with any desire that came up?
Hmm. Right now I want to just listen and see what else shows up for this blog.
So I will. That one was easy.
If we decide to, we can practice simply looking at desire as it arises without having to decide if it is “good one” or not. This leaves a little space for the desire to simple wander off or knock a little louder.
As one addicted to analysis, this idea feels incredibly freeing. I have spent most of my life practicing mental gymnastics, as they say. I have an Olympic gold, actually. Yup, in Inner Debate. I carry that baby around with me everywhere I go. It’s called chronic inflammation. That’s the track suit worn by self judgement.
If we went no further than this: the practice of observance without analysis- our lives would change profoundly.
What if we went all the way with it? What if we began to just do whatever we wanted to?
I can hear the resistance from here. It sounds a lot like my mind did when I first opened up to this idea. That’s just what we need. Everyone running around without thinking of the consequences of their actions. Chaos would ensue. People would get hurt. Businesses would shut down. Netflix would rule the world in a week. Fast food heart attacks and Ben & Jerry’s sugar comas taking out thousands.
Really? Is that what most people would do with utter freedom? Some might, for a while. But is that really what a free heart wants? Aren’t so many of those compulsive behaviors born from a place of perceived limitation? Are they not a temporary anesthetic for suffering? What if we weren’t suffering in our resistance to our desires and what that resistance has birthed in our lives?
I was listening to an Alan Watts talk entitled Let Go earlier today. He was talking about how long ago this was the way we were, and now only babies are this way. We didn’t consider the future. If we were hungry we ate. If we were angry we hit something. If we were happy, we danced. And yes, sometimes not reasoning through desire meant getting eaten by a tiger. But, as he said, was that so bad? We all die, and which is worse, being suddenly killed by a tiger or living in fear of such a thing happening?
Of course not all unwanted consequence of spontaneity is death. Things like injury or illness, or the aforementioned sugar coma serve to give us clarity in the next now moment.
Ugh. Not the whole half gallon of ice cream next time. Our desire would evolve.
The question is, could we reserve judgement and stay on the freedom train?
The only thing that makes this a challenge is fear. And it’s lie that we might not be worthy of actually being free.
I believe in the Love that is every soul. I believe in the goodness of people. We suffer because we don’t fully accept the moment and ourselves in it, and that fear causes suffering in the world around us as we live and treat others and the environment from survival emotions.
Were you suddenly to know, to really know, that you are free to love your own heart unconditionally, and follow it’s desires….would you create heaven or hell?
Why would anyone else be different?