In the event this is your first time on this blog….hello!
My name is Todd Buckman. I have had 50 years of Life experience in this particular body. A body I don’t know my mind has ever been completely satisfied with.
There was asthma and chronic bronchitis when was young, an incredibly late start to a puberty that I often felt never quite finished, then back and joint issues that began in my early thirties. These began to limit my enjoyment of exercise and eventually my ability to work. Pain became a constant companion.
It’s not as though this dissatisfaction was always conscious. It was often that under the surface kind of tension that exists when the deep down truth is that you wish something in your life were different than it is. The subtle inner conflict we often don’t even realize is there until we have a moment when it’s not. I started having those moments when mediation and yoga cultivated deeper presence, and found the peace and grace that exists outside of the thinking mind and it’s patterned identity.
I suppose this is, in many ways, the age old human condition we dance with. We can awaken to its observation, as many more are right now, and in doing so realize we are so much more than our mind’s identity. We can expand our cosmic awareness, and find freedom beyond the body. I certainly did. Accepting my eternal nature was easy. What has been more challenging is to embody this freedom by fully embracing all aspects of my humanity.
It feels as though this inner struggle, this judgment of what is, has been the cause of an autoimmune inflammatory response in my body. The emotional body reflected in the physical one. Emotional reality becoming a physical one.
This is my real right now.
[This was recorded a week or so ago.]
This is part 2. The next day…