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Submersible

How wonderful it feels to drop anchor in the present moment. To use awareness of breath to slip below the often choppy surface of mind and into the stillness and silence of the deep.

To rest there, breathing the moment, and allow the senses to remind the heart of the beauty and balance Life always offers but the restless mind seldom sees- this, for me, shifts everything.

To do this, however, without complete self acceptance, is like diving in a submersible one doesn’t trust as entirely safe. Yes, the wonder of the underwater world will be there, but how much will I enjoy it?

Our survival minds are not wired for surrender. And it feels, for me at least, that utter self acceptance is the deepest form of it. This level of surrender often only comes when when we perceive our time left to be short. That’s what it took for me.

To truly be at peace with death requires being at peace with who I perceive myself to be, right now. And the more self aware I am, the harder this can be.

I’ve read the books. Studied many spiritual teachings. And my life looks nothing like what is often pointed to from these places. Self judgement, however subtle, can be easy.

It’s a classic spiritual paradox. To see myself through the eyes of love I must  love myself. The Buddhists call this a koan. An unsolvable problem- for the mind.

Thankfully, I am more than my mind. I am also the awareness that sees my mind, my sense of self, and can hold it tenderly, as a loving mother holds her child. The moment I move from mind to breath, and consciously offer myself to be held, I am. Both held and holding. Somehow, both mother and child, swaying gently between the two in the rhythm of breath.

This friends, is how I find the peace that passes understanding. Resting in breath, and offering myself, just as I am, to the moment. In such surrender I find love and  understanding, beauty and balance, and often, an irrepressible bit of laughter.

The Embrace

This 28 min offering is both a teaching and a meditation, it feels to me. It is profound, and to really absorb it will require your full attention.

I want to say beforehand, though it is said within the context, that the term “The Christ”, used a few times in this love letter to your heart, names not a man but the level of consciousness he was able to embody. Unconditional love, to be specific. Which includes by It’s very nature Oneness with all that is.

You may notice as you listen that the moment your mind tries to protest and defend it’s small self, the wisdom offered here becomes challenging. Yet as soon as you open your heart back up, it all makes sense. Truly this all is a remembrance more than a learning.

This is a transmission from the Heart, from the Love that is Life, and is for you. For your precious heart. May you feel the embrace of that which we call by many names.