I am finding that there is an easier path.
For years I’ve listened to spiritual teachers and observed them and their students on their own journeys. It’s been hard not to compare myself to those who seem to be thriving as they uncover and begin to live their passion. As they heal their bodies from any number of diseases.
So I’ve reached. I’ve efforted, even if just inwardly, for what has been beyond my Now. My mind’s vocal vision for something seen as greater, has, in many moments, drowned out the whisper of my heart.
For me, holding a vision for the future has often been born of resistance to what is my present. There is no softness there, no rest, no peace. It is a weighted vision, and a burdened heart is not a free one.
I’m learning, at long last, to live in that open space of experience. To let go of all judgement of where I find myself and how I got here.
In accepting what is, I find peace. A peace that flows beneath the surface of both joy and sadness. Laughter bubbles up through a moment of frustration when I choose to love it and set myself free.
I’m seeing through some illusions about the notion of alignment. I’ve labored under the belief that I have choices as to what I can do and feel great about. Do I?
In any given moment, there is a balance point, an intermingling of desire and belief. This is what creates my perception, my vibration. It creates what is my Now moment, and my flow of energy within it. “Go with the flow” indeed. When I simply get present with my body and breath, and feel into what my heart wants in this Now, there isn’t much in the way of options. Humility and authenticity see the grace in what is within reach right Now and what isn’t.
In the past judgments around different choices, actions have all to often kept me from the simple freedom of following my heart. Have you ever wondered why you keep finding yourself wanting to do things you have some level of judgement around? The soul simply wants to be free of that resistance.
The ever-present heart and soul hold a deeper wisdom than does the mind. The latter has often offered visions and the obligation of leaping into what is not present, while the former wants simply ride the current of its presence down a river of freedom. I’m learning to trust the Moment to lead me.
And it leads to wonder filled places. I rediscovered this park two evenings ago while adventuring around on my bike, summer monsoons thundering in the distance. It was just what I wanted to do. It is what felt fun. And now here I am at sunrise, loving the feel of cool wet grass under me feet in the red rock desert.
As I stop, breathe, and follow the emerging desires of my heart, I find myself feeling less compulsive. Less reactive. I can feel the mind’s programs losing their grip.
I also find that any activity feels sublime. Feels heavenly. Feels like a profound scene in a movie. Feels free. Be it a walk in Nature, chatting with a friend on the phone, or watching a funny clip on You Tube or FB, in honoring where my heart takes me I find an expanded sense of self. I see it’s purpose. I see my own. To serve the collective as the Light of a free heart, with all that flows from it.
This happens, in any moment we allow it to.